Hour of shock

Screaming. Fighting in the ground. I knew it. It was the same feeling. Simply. Season is over. All this and a lot more was going through my head. Memory is fresh. I won’t step on my leg, I said. The last time I did… it didn’t end good. The knee buckled. Really unpleasant feeling. It can affect on your mind after surgery and on confidence while recovery. But there is also a way to clean all distractions and trust your knee. They put me on a gurney. I just couldn’t watch. I put my hands over my face and wanted to come in hospital as soon as possible. I heard people to applaud. This is something I admire. I did my best and gave a wave. I don’t know if anybody saw it but I showed the respect. Ambulance. Shock was still there. Tears are coming and it’s difficult to breath deeply. It will never be the same again. Rollerblading. My passion. This year was the first I enjoyed back in my old days after right knee injury. The feeling of freedom was making me brave, more confident and simply… happy. How it will be now? It was one of the first things I thought. I want you to understand me right. Ski jumping is a priority. I will do everything with my knee to be the best on a ski jump hill. Althought I will have to stop rollerblading and sacrifice something I really like to do in my free time. I mean the jumps, normal rollerblading is great for knee. But there is a hope I will be able to do it also. Medical service team was nice. Coach gave me some inspiration. I listened. Words were deep. I may didn’t show it at the time but I understood him in the first moments. Driving from Planica came to the end. Hospital. Jesenice. Well known place. I had surgery there on my right knee in year 2014. Some waiting, examinations and a word… ACL. Tears. I was right. Feelings were right. Some moments passed. Here my coach was the support I needed. Words that will follow me all the way back. SHORT-TERM GOALS CHANGED, LONG-TERM GOALS STAY THE SAME. These were also my last tears and head is up!